Always enjoy your life!

The last two weeks have been filled with different emotion. It is hard to think that we are putting Bryan through all of this--they say the cancer is gone right now--with a hope and a prayer that it won't come back. That is the catch 22 question. No one really knows if this will stop it from coming back. That is except the Lord.

The side effects are very noticeable. The numbness in his hands. Drinking cold drinks. The bowel changes. The fatigue. The red spots. The dryness in his skin and mouth. The fever blisters. After 2 treatments, nearly all that they told us could happen, has happened. If he has 10 more treatments, some of these things could be here to stay forever. James says he would rather live with his hands and feet numb and tingling for the rest of his life, than die. But we don't know if he will die. He might be one of the really blessed ones and not die - even if he doesn't have the chemo. Such a hard choice.

Tomorrow we start his 3 treatment. The next 5 days will really tell how much worse the side effects will be. Within hours, he will be able to tell if some of the side effects will intensify. We think they probably will.

We continue to be amazed and feel very blessed even with the constant cloud over our head and knot in our stomach. Life is still hectic and good. Bryan always has a smile on his face and a positive attitude. I asked him the other day how he did it and he said, "I just don't let the negative thoughts run through my brain."

Tomorrow is another count down day. We hope his platelets are not down more and that his blood stays high.

He played in a double header soft ball game tonight and came home exhausted and drained, but with a smile on his face, He said it just felt so good. I guess that is the only way to do all of this. Just continue to live life.